


The Rainbow Connection

by NormalIsForBoringPeople



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 15:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3534770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NormalIsForBoringPeople/pseuds/NormalIsForBoringPeople





	1. In The Beginning

Dean was being ushered into his car against his will. He was being forced to go to this gay rights thing by a friend of his. 

"Come on, Dean! We can't be late!" She chirped. 

Dean groaned. "C'mon, Charlie! Why're you making me go? I'm not even gay!"

"All the more support for us rainbow believers!"

"But Charlie-"

"No buts, mister! Me and Jo are gonna be there! You might as well tag along!" 

"I'd really rather not." He grumbled as he entered his prized Impala. 

He figured that since this was Charlie, she wouldn't have it any other way besides hers. He'd go to this damn "Rainbow Connection", but he swore to himself that he wouldn't like it. Boy did he go back on his word.

._.__._. 

Cas was in the same boat. And his friend just happened to be the aforementioned Jo. A lovely coincidence indeed.

"Come on, Cas! I can't show up alone!"

"What about Charlie?"

"She's bringing a friend of her own. She wouldn't say who, though. Said it'd be a surprise. Maybe you could get to know whoever this is."

"Jo, I'm not going to some club that is for people that are not of my orientation!" 

"First of all, it's not a club. It's a convention. Second, I refuse to show up empty handed, so you're going. And third, well, do I need a third?"

"Jo-" 

"C'mon, Cas! You know I wanna do that thing!"

"You mean... that thing?" 

"Yes. That thing." 

"I don't wanna do that thing." 

"Well build a bridge and get over it." 

Cas folded his arms across his chest. "You think you've got me so whipped, don't you? Like you can snap your fingers, and I come a runnin'. Well, you know what-"

Jo raised her eyebrow, causing Cas to swallow that last remark. 

"I'll drive."

They both arrived at around the same time, still entirely oblivious to one another's existence. But they would meet quite soon. And strangely enough, not in the parking lot where they were quite literally four spaces away. Only four.

They went inside, still unaware of each other. It was a quaint little place. Sufficient room, a stage, it was nice. Jo and Cas went backstage, where more bickering ensued. 

"Cas! We are going to do this!" Jo hissed under her breath. 

"I'm just not comfortable doing this in front of all those people!" He hissed back. 

"There's not that many! Just... like, twenty. Maybe thirty. It's not so bad." 

"Twenty or _thirty_? No. No way in hell. That's like... more than I'm comfortable with!"

"Come on, Cassie! You know you're good, just let it show!"

"No! I will not let it show! Screw letting it show!" 

Jo huffed. "Bite your tongue, heathen!" 

"No! I will not bite my tongue! And I will not do this!"

Jo crossed her arms. "Fine. If you don't get your ass up there, I'm telling a certain brother of yours that you went to a gay rights convention. I'm sure Gabe'll have a field day with that one."

Cas narrowed his gaze. "You wouldn't dare." 

Jo met his gaze with an ice cold stare. "Go ahead. Make. My. Day."

Cas groaned with complete and utter defeat. "Fine. Have it your way. You owe me big time."

Meanwhile, Dean and Charlie were trying to find Jo. 

"Where is she?" Charlie wondered. "She said she'd meet me here."

They kept looking around until they heard a piano playing soft music. They looked to the stage where they found Jo standing by said piano, holding a microphone. And when Dean saw the pianist... there were no words. 

The music picked up, and Charlie recognized the song. "Oh. My. God." She gaped. 

Dean glanced at her. "What?" 

The awestruck redhead smiled. "She said she had a surprise for me, but I wasn't expecting this." 

And Dean heard the pianist sing into his own microphone, which was hooked up to the piano. And his voice was as melodious as the art he crafted with his fingers as they danced along the keys.

"When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay,  
'Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight.  
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face,  
She's like "Cas, you've loved girls since before pre-k, trippin'."  
Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she?  
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.  
I remember doing the math like, "Yeah, I'm good at little league."  
A preconceived idea of what it all meant.  
For those that liked the same sex,  
Had the characteristics.  
The right wing conservatives think it's a decision,  
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion,  
Man-made rewiring of a predisposition.  
Playing God, aw nah here we go.  
America the brave still fears what we don't know.  
And "God loves all his children" is somehow forgotten,  
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago.  
I don't know. 

And I can't change,  
Even if I tried,  
Even if I wanted to.  
And I can't change,  
Even if I tried,  
Even if I wanted to.  
My love,  
My love,  
My love.  
She keeps me warm,  
She keeps me warm,  
She keeps me warm,  
She keeps me warm. 

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me,  
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?  
"Man, that's gay" gets dropped on the daily,  
We become so numb to what we're saying.  
A culture founded from oppression,  
Yet we don't have acceptance for 'em.  
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board.  
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it.  
Gay is synonymous with the lesser.  
It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion.  
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment,  
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins.  
It's human rights for everybody, there is no difference!  
Live on and be yourself.  
When I was at church they taught me something else.  
If you preach hate at the service those words aren't anointed,  
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned.  
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless,  
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen.  
I might not be the same, but that's not important.  
No freedom 'til we're equal, damn right I support it."

Dean was amazed by his voice. That's all he could focus on. 

"He's freaking amazing." 

"Who? Piano guy?" Charlie asked. 

"Yeah." 

"And I can't change,  
Even if I tried,  
Even if I wanted to.  
My love,  
My love,  
My love.  
She keeps me warm,  
She keeps me warm,  
She keeps me warm,  
She keeps me warm. 

We press play, don't press pause.  
Progress, march on,  
With the veil over our eyes.  
We turn our back on the cause,  
'Til the day that my uncles can be united by law.  
When kids are walking 'round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart.  
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are.  
And a certificate on paper isn't gonna solve it all,  
But it's a damn good place to start.  
No law is gonna change us,  
We have to change us.  
Whatever God you believe in,  
We come from the same one.  
Strip away the fear,  
Underneath it's all the same love.  
About time that we raised up. 

And I can't change,  
Even if I tried,  
Even if I wanted to.  
And I can't change,  
Even if I tried,  
Even if I wanted to.  
My love,  
My love,  
My love.  
She keeps me warm,  
She keeps me warm,  
She keeps me warm,  
She keeps me warm.  
Love is patient,  
Love is kind.  
Love is patient,  
Love is kind.  
Love is patient,  
Love is kind.  
Love is patient,  
Love is kind.  
Love is patient,  
Love is kind.  
Love is patient,  
Love is kind."

There was an uproarious symphony of applause when the song ended, and Dean was still stunned. This boy was one of the greatest piano players he'd ever heard, and there just happened to be a piano set up. A lovely coincidence indeed.


	2. Something Clicked

Blue. 

The oceanic blue in his eyes stood out against everything else. 

Though it should've meant nothing. 

It should have. 

Jo and the pianist got off the stage and Charlie quickly approached them, Dean following suit. He didn't know who the pianist was, but he wanted to find out.

"Oh my god, Jo!" Charlie exclaimed, kissing her lover. "You. Are. Awesome!"

Jo chuckled. "I know!" 

While they laughed, Dean got a good look at the pianist. His dark, wild hair was stuck out in all different directions. Which was a good look for him honestly. His lips were a tad chapped, and they looked rough to the touch. It was a strange way to think of someone you don't know, but Dean couldn't help himself. 

And he kept finding himself lost in a swarm of crystal blue. 

There was only one word here. 

Angelic. 

"Dean?" Charlie brought him back to earth. 

Dean tore his eyes away from the boy, clearing his throat. "Erm... what?"

"I said this is my girlfriend, Jo." She chuckled. 

"Oh. Um... hi." He greeted awkwardly. 

"Dean," Jo smiled. "I've heard quite a bit about you." 

Dean nodded. "Yeah. I've, uh, heard of you too." 

"And this is my best friend of all time, Castiel." She referred to the blue eyed pianist. 

Castiel. Such a bold name. Like the classic knight in shining armor in a fairytale. 

"Uh... hi, Castiel." Dean greeted him. 

"Please, call me Cas." 

Cas. Indescribable. 

"Um... I'm Dean. But you probably knew that." He chuckled awkwardly. It was all awkward.

Cas laughed softly. "Yes, I gathered that." 

_Quick, you idiot. Say something._ "I-I love your singing," He rushed. "You know, the, uh, the singing you did up there. It was... really great. It was... great." _Nice move, egghead._

Cas laughed again. "Thanks. I'm not one for public performances, but Jo wouldn't have it any other way." 

Jo slapped his shoulder. "Shut up!" She laughed. 

"Well, you're great. Really great. And the-the piano, well... that was... it was...-" 

"Great?" Cas finished. 

"Uh yeah." He laughed.

All of a sudden, they heard someone talk into the microphone onstage. "Can I have everyone's attention, please? Your pal, Corbett here. It's time to grab a partner, 'cause we're getting ready for the slow dance. This is for all you happy couples out there." 

They began to play a kinda old song on a speaker system. Dean didn't know what song it was, but he was liking the sound of it. 

"If they have a speaker system, why have a piano?" He asked Cas. 

Cas shrugged. "I dunno. Lovely coincidence though, isn't it?"

"A lovely coincidence, indeed."

" _How do I,_  
_Get through one night without you?_ "

Dean offered his hand to Cas. "Care to dance?" He smiled. Obviously, he normally wouldn't do this, but he figured, what the hell. It is a gay rights thing anyway. 

Cas returned the smile, taking his hand. "Absolutely." 

" _If I had to live without you,_  
_What kind of life would that be?_ "

Dean's hands were at Cas's hips, while Cas had his hands resting on Dean's shoulders. They simply swayed in time with the music, and they both enjoyed it. 

" _Oh, I..._  
_I need you in my arms, need you to hold,_  
_You're my world, my heart, my soul._ "

Dean began to recognize the singer. "Leann Rimes. Not bad." 

"You a Leann Rimes fan?"

He shrugged. "She's cool, I guess." 

" _If you ever leave,_  
_Baby you would take away everything good in my life,_  
_And tell me now._ "

Dean chuckled. "I have never danced with another guy before." 

Cas chuckled as well. "And you think I have?"

"Well, you certainly seem like the kind of guy who's open minded."

" _How do I live without you?_  
_I want to know,_  
_How do I breathe without you?_  
_If you ever go,_  
_How do I ever, ever survive?_  
_How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?_ "

Dean glanced over at Charlie and Jo, who were holding each other closely, dancing similarly to the way he and Cas were. "At least they're having a good time." 

Cas looked briefly over to them then back at Dean. "Aren't _we_?" 

"Of course we are. For now." He grinned. 

" _Without you,_  
_There'd be no sun in my sky,_  
_There would be no love in my life,_  
_There'd be no world left for me._ "

"Nice song." Cas attempted to keep the conversation going. 

"Yeah. It is. It's great." 

" _And I,_  
_Baby I don't know what I would do,_  
_I'd be lost if I lost you,_  
_If you ever leave,_  
_Baby you would take away everything real in my life._ "

Dean got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach as he looked into the blue abyss of Cas's eyes. It made him real nervous and jumpy. And unbeknownst to him, Cas felt the same way. 

" _And tell me now,_  
_How do I live without you?_  
_I want to know,_  
_How do I breathe without you?_  
_If you ever go,_  
_How do I ever, ever survive?_  
_How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?_ "

They weren't sure what this feeling was, but it certainly wasn't bad. Whatever it was. 

" _Please tell me baby,_  
_How do I go on?_  
_If you ever leave,_  
_Baby you would take away everything,_  
_I need you with me,_  
_Baby don't you know that you're everything,_  
_Good in my life?_ "

It almost scared them, whatever they felt. It felt strange. But was it in a good way? Or a very, very bad way? 

" _And tell me now,_  
_How do I live without you,_  
_I want to know,_  
_How do I breathe without you?_ "

They didn't even realize they were leaning in closer to each other. 

" _If you ever go,_  
_How do I ever, ever survive?_ "

They had their eyes closed, still leaning, unaware of what they were doing. 

" _How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?_  
_How do I live without you?_ " 

And just as the song ended, they both opened their eyes just a bit, their lips mere centimeters apart. 

" _How do I live without you baby?_ "

They quickly separated, blushing immensely. Did that seriously just happen? 

"Um...-" Dean couldn't find the words. 

"Yeah, I'm sorry." Cas murmured.

"Don't be. It-it's fine. It's awkward, but it's fine." He grinned. 

Charlie lightly punched Dean in the shoulder. "You kids having a good time?" She smirked. 

"Uh, yeah, I guess." Dean replied. 

"Well good. That's what these things are for." 

"Right. How much longer will we be here?"

Charlie sighed. "Don't be in such a hurry to skedaddle. We wanna dance!"

"And how long should that take?"

"I think Charlie has a point," Cas spoke up. "We should make the most of tonight. I mean, what're the odds we'll see each other again, right?" 

"Well, that depends. You go to the school here?"

"Yep. Fergus Macleod High. You?"

"Same. How is it we've never bumped into each other?"

Cas shrugged. "Dunno. You've got your crowd, I've got mine. And they must be different crowds."

Dean nodded. "Must be." 

They stayed there a while, talking about different things. It felt like hours and hours. They talked about TV shows, hobbies, random stuff. It was around 9:30 when they left, and around 9:32 when they went to their cars and realized how close they were parked. 

"Well, I'll be damned." Dean chuckled. 

"What a... lovely coincidence." Cas grinned. 

"A lovely coincidence, indeed."

Charlie slapped him on the shoulder a bit, getting his attention. "Give him your number." She whispered. 

"What?"

"Give. Him. Your. Number."

"But... why?"

"GIVE HIM YOUR DAMN NUMBER." She hissed. 

Dean sighed and decided to do so. "Say, Cas, let me give you my number. Maybe we can talk some more."

Cas nodded. "Sounds good." 

Dean started digging around the pockets of his jeans and his jacket in search of a pen until Charlie handed him a blue one. 

He muttered a thanks and wrote his number on Cas's palm. He noticed his palm was rather clammy, though he had no earthly idea why. 

He gave Charlie her pen back and turned to Cas. "I'll see you around then."

"Yeah... I'll see you around." 

They parted ways, Cas handing Jo his keys. "You get to drive. I'm beat." 

While Dean drove him and Charlie home, he decided to ask about what she told him to do. "What was that about?" 

"What?" 

"Oh, I don't know, maybe, 'GIVE HIM YOUR DAMN NUMBER'." 

"Oh c'mon! I knew you weren't gonna do it yourself, so I decided to... give you that extra shove."

"Extra shove? Into what?"

A smile grew on Charlie's face. "Oh don't deny it. I saw the way you two looked at each other."

"What way?"

"Mm... the way that said, 'spend eternity with me, it will be my only chance at true, gay, rainbow happiness'." 

"True what?"

"You heard me! I mean, look at you! You were dancing with him in a way that practically screams HOMO!"

"That is so not true." 

"Oh really? The way you two gazed into each other's eyes, getting lost in one another's arms? The way you swept him off his feet?"

"No, no, no, no, no! There was no feet sweeping!"

She scoffed. "Sure there wasn't." 

He could deny it all he wanted out loud, but inside, he knew what Charlie spoke was the truth. He just couldn't come to grips with it. 

._.__._.

Cas was in the passenger seat, staring down at Dean's phone number scrawled across his sweaty hand. Jo couldn't help but notice. 

"Ya gonna call 'im?" She asked rather chipper. 

"I don't know yet. He seems nice, but...-"

"But what?"

"But... I dunno. I'm too tired to think about this right now."

"All that dancing and chatting and falling helplessly in love is _exhausting_ , innit?"

Cas snapped his head toward her. "What?"

"Oh you heard me, Casanova. I saw the way you looked at each other."

"Looks mean nothing."

Jo gasped dramatically. "Lies!"

"Sure, we danced a little, but it was a gay rights convention. The... the essence of... homosexuality sorta... made it's way under our skin." He mumbled the last part. 

"Wow."

"Oh shut up." He chuckled. 

He looked down at his hand with the slightly smudgy phone number. Maybe he should call him. But maybe he shouldn't. To call or not to call. That is the question.


	3. Middle Of The Best Night Ever

Jo pulled into Cas's driveway about forty five minutes later. She glanced over at him and he was sleeping soundly. That is, until she slapped him in the arm. 

He jerked awake, though still half asleep. "Huh? Wha?" He rubbed his eyes tiredly. 

"We're here. You don't mind me staying over again do you?"

"No problem. Parents still fighting, huh?"

"Yeah. But I'm sure everything will... patch itself up. Just not by tonight." 

Cas gave her a look of sympathy. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. C'mon, let's go inside."

They went inside, the cold December breeze pricking at their skin as they treaded the lawn. Once they got inside, they decided to stay up watching a movie on the couch.

About halfway in, they still weren't sure exactly what it was. They just found it when they turned the TV on.

"Jo, do you have any idea what we're watching? 'Cause I sure as hell don't." He looked over at Jo, who was asleep on her side of the couch.

He unfolded the thick blanket on the back of the couch and wrapped her up in it, making sure she was nice and warm. He glanced at his palm and saw the number. He had to call him. 

He wasn't sure what it was about this boy, but he just couldn't get enough of him. They really connected. They connected in a way that Cas had never connected with anyone. Not even Jo. 

"Fine," He muttered to himself, digging his phone out of his pocket. "Dean Winchester... prepare to be impulsively dialed."

He dialed the number and awaited an answer. He suddenly realized how late it was. Oh man. What if this is putting out a bad signal? A very bad signal? 

"Hello?" Dean answered, shaking Cas from his thoughts. 

"Uh... hey, Dean. It's, uh, it's Cas. Remember me?" He chuckled nervously. 

"Oh. Yeah, hey, Cas. What's up?"

He paused, unsure of the answer. "I have no idea."

Dean chuckled. "Just wanna talk, huh?"

"I-I guess." 

"Well, I know this is gonna sound a bit forward of me, but maybe you could give me an address, and we can talk... at your place?"

Everything froze in a split second. 

"At... at my place?" He practically squeaked. 

"Yeah, but if that... makes you uncomfortable-"

"No! It's fine! I just... well, Jo's here, and then there's my brother-"

"Trust me, I know the feeling. So... how bout it?" 

"Um... sure. I guess." He smiled. 

He gave Dean his address and they both hung up. Cas couldn't help but feel a sense of self pride at that moment. He wasn't even sure why. 

"Yes," He got up off the couch. "He's on his way here!" He whispered, bouncing on the balls of his feet just a slight. "Right now! Like... now! Yes! Yes! Yes!" 

Why he was acting this way was a mystery to him, but he didn't care at the moment. Dean was on his way to Castiel Novak's house. His house. 

He couldn't help but do a little victory cheer, but he still didn't understand why. He kept shuffling along on his feet. "Oh yeah! That's right! He'll be here! He is on his way! Castiel Novak, for the win!" 

He was still shuffling until he realized there was a clear view of him in the hallway where a now awake Gabriel stood. When Cas realized he was there, his phone actually flew right out of his hand, straight up into the air, and he was scrambling to catch it.

"Sup, Cassie?" Gabriel greeted amusedly. 

"Keep your voice down," Cas whispered once he caught his phone. "Jo is asleep."

He walked past him, walking into the kitchen. "Shame she had to miss Dancing With The Novak's." 

"I was not... I was not dancing." 

"Oh really?" Gabe got a box of Snickers ice cream out of the freezer. "I happen to know you, Cassie. And I know that whenever you're covering up something, you never use contractions."

Cas scoffed. "That is so not true. I cannot believe that you are saying that." 

Gabe bit into some of his ice cream. "Really now?"

"I am not covering up anything." 

"Is that why you were bouncing around like a fifteen year old girl going on her first date?"

"It is not a date!"

Gabe chuckled. "Oh yeah. You are not hiding a thing." He teased. 

"Oh shut up. I do not talk like that."

"Yeah. Sure you do not." 

"Shut up!"

"Alright, c'mon, spill. Who is it?"

"No." 

"Well excuse me for wanting to know who my little bro's love interests are. C'mon. C'mon c'mon c'mon!" 

"Take your ice cream and get the hell out!" 

"Harsh, bro. Harsh." He took the entire box of Snickers ice cream and went back to his room. 

Cas went back to the living room and sat at the couch where Jo still slept. He couldn't help but feel bad for her, as her situation was a bit depressing. 

Her real father died when she was a kid, leaving her mother, Ellen to raise her up alone. Until she met Jo's stepfather, Bobby. But lately, all they ever seem to do is fight. Which left Jo in a horrible situation. She always felt like she had to pick sides, so she usually stayed at Cas's place until things died down for the time being.

He kept watching TV, waiting for Dean to arrive. Of course, it was past midnight, he shouldn't even be doing this. He was, as Gabe put it, a goody two shoes. 

But he didn't think he was a goody two shoes. He just thought he was an obedient son. Nothing wrong with that, right?

His phone went off in his pocket, and he looked at the text he recieved. It was from Dean. 

D: How did the intruder get into the house?

It didn't make much sense. What intruder? What house? What the hell was he-

The window suddenly opened, and when Cas jumped off the couch and turned around to look, he saw Dean outside, who grinned and said; "In-tru-da-window." 

Cas chuckled and went to help him in. "What's with the sneaking through the window? Too embarrassing to walk through the front door?" 

Dean chuckled as well, managing to get inside. "Well, the way you were talking on the phone, I guess it just sounded like an 'in-tru-da-window' situation."

Cas knew they had to talk about what happened at that convention. During the dance. "Dean. Um... we should talk about what happened earlier."

"What do you mean?"

"You _know_ what I mean." 

He nodded in understanding. "Oh. _That._ " 

"Yeah, that. What was that exactly?" 

"I - I really don't know. I mean... I'm straight, y'know? I don't really... do that sort of thing. Not with guys anyway."

"Oh, yeah, same here." Cas nodded along. He was lying to himself and Dean and he knew it. He always had his suspicions about his sexuality. He'd never really been into girls, so he tried to see it from a different point of view. A much more... gay point of view. 

He tried looking at guys rather than girls, but it only confused him more. Did he _really_ like looking at guys this way? He couldn't be sure. He wasn't sure of anything anymore. Gay or straight? Homo or hetero? It was mind boggling. 

"So," Dean's voice shook Cas from his thoughts. "That... almost kiss. Where do we go from there?"

"I'm not sure." 

What he really wanted to do was finish it. He wanted to finish it more than he wanted to finish high school, and that was pretty high on his goal list. He had plans to go to college, get a job as a lawyer or something, anything to do with the law really. He'd meet a girl, or so he thought, and he'd move to Florida with her and settle down and have kids and watch them grow up and send them to college and grow old with his wife even if he didn't really love her, but he'd do it anyway because that's what people do, right? Marry someone. And if he did turn out to be gay, he'd sort that out in his head, because there was not a person on planet earth that he'd trust with such personal information because his greatest fear was the disapproval of others. And if he turned out to be gay? There'd be so much disapproval from so many people, and he knew it. He knew Jo wouldn't judge, since she's got a girlfriend of her own, Charlie, who would also be fine with it, but he'd still keep it inside, this was his secret, and he'd take it to his grave if he had to. He would never speak of such a thing. What if he turned out to be wrong? What if he was straight and this was all a delusion? He'd just end up offending a lot of people who _were_ gay. He couldn't do that to them, or himself, or anyone. This was his secret, and he'd keep it forever. 

"I mean, _I've_ never questioned myself," Dean commented. "I _know_ I'm straight. And all my ex girlfriends would definitely agree." He chuckled. 

Cas chuckled awkwardly. "Right."

"I mean, I'm fine with anyone who swings that way. I've got no problem. I mean, obviously. I was just at a gay rights thing. Against my will, but still." 

Cas nodded. "Yeah. Right." He thought Dean's rambling was kind of cute. Oh god, he was hella homo. 

"What about you? Ever... question yourself?" 

And, of course, Cas decided to lie through his teeth. "Course not. I mean, I've had _so_ many girlfriends."

"Really?" Dean didn't seem convinced. 

"Yeah, totally."

"Who were they?" 

Cas seemed to find a little flaw in this otherwise flawless plan. "What?"

"What were their names?"

"Um... well, I don't really like to... talk about it." Since it was all a huge lie to make him look straight. 

"C'mon, you can tell me."

Cas nodded. "Yeah. Right. Um... okay. Well... I guess I should start with my first... girlfriend. Her name was, um... Har...per." He spoke rather slowly. 

"Harper?"

"Yeah! Yep. Harper... Finkle. She was... nice. Really nice. And... pretty. And we were dating for... six months. But... we both agreed that things were... moving a bit fast. I mean... we were barely high school freshmen. And... neither of us really felt like we were ready for such... commitment."

"How many girlfriends have you had?"

"Three," He answered quickly. "Three. I've had... three. My second was... Kath...leen." 

"Kathleen who?" 

_Ugh, you're killing me, man!_ "Kathleen... Smith. Great girl. Blonde. Also pretty. But... she had to move to... Alaska."

"Alaska? What for?"

"Parents. Work. They were... biologists. And... they were given an offer to... study the... penguin population there, so... Kathleen had to move with them, so...."

"There are no penguins in Alaska."

"Huh?" His voice went up an octave or two. 

"Penguins don't live in Alaska. I think they live in the North and South Poles, maybe even Antarctica, but I know they don't live in Alaska."

Cas had to salvage whatever pieces of his plan he had left. He couldn't come out to the boy he almost kissed. " _Exactly!_ "

"What?"

"There were an abundance of penguins found in Alaska, and Kathy's parents were asked to contribute to the... research that they needed to do to... figure shit out."

"Um... I thought her name was Kathleen." 

"Oh. Yeah. It is. But... I've always called her Kathy. It's... a pet name. Haven't you ever had a pet name for your girlfriends?"

"Okay then. So... is _Kathy_ still in Alaska?"

"'Fraid so. It's been a long time since I last saw her... beautiful face." 

"But I guess you found a way to move on."

"What? Oh! Right. I _did_ meet another girl. Her name was... Hannah."

"Hannah. So, what was Hannah like?"

"Love of my life, or so I thought. Wavy dark brown hair that reached her shoulders. Bright blue eyes that remind me of diamonds," He began to get lost in the thought of his fake ex. "Fair skinned and... pure hearted. As smart as a girl can be. Just as funny as she is pretty. She's absolutely amazing."

"Oh yeah. I think I know her."

Cas nearly had a full on heart attack. "Huh - wha?"

"Yeah. I think I met her some time ago. In one of my classes."

"Oh. Right. Course you did."

"She never said anything about a breakup."

"Well, it did happen pretty recently."

"How recent?"

"About a month. Maybe two."

"We just talked yesterday."

"Well maybe it just never came up in the conversation." He sounded a bit irritated, just wanting to move on from this topic. 

"If it was just a month ago, I bet she's still pretty broken up about it. Maybe I should talk to her."

"No! No. She... needs time. To heal, y'know? Just let her recover on her own time."

Dean nodded slightly. "Right. Totally. How long should I-"

"Maybe you should just never bring it up. Ever. Just to be sure. 'Cause... you know how girls can be. So... catty." 

He tried to hide a smile. "Yeah. So catty."

"What about your old flames?"

He just shrugged. "Not much to tell, really. Just some girls I thought were hot, and we would start dating, and about a month or two later, we'd end things. That's just life, I guess."

Cas nodded. "Hey, let's watch a movie."

Since Jo was asleep on the couch, they decided to go into Cas's room where he had a less-than-adequate TV. But, fortunately, it had Netflix on it. After spending some time trying to find a movie, they decided to watch The Interview. The Eminem bit absolutely slayed them. 

Cas soon found himself thinking about the whole Hannah thing. He realized how he came up with that "fake" ex. He knew her. And he never actually thought about her that way before, but now... he didn't know who he was anymore. 

For the longest time, he thought he was he gay. He met this boy, Dean, who was sitting right here beside him, laughing at some joke James Franco made, and he thought he might have liked him. But out there, when he was making up that story of his ex girlfriend, he realized how he thought of Hannah. Ugh, life is so unfair. 

Then he thought, maybe he was bi. He liked this boy, and now he realized he liked a girl, he must've been bi. Of course, the thing with Hannah could've just been his mind's way of covering up those gay thoughts. Jesus Christ, this was all so complicated. 

Was he gay? Was he straight? Was he bi? Was he anything? Who was he? What was the point? What the hell? 

He couldn't even watch the movie properly with this thunderstorm of contradicting thoughts clouding his mind. It was impossible to think straight. Or gay. Or bi. Or at all.

Did he like Dean? Did he like Hannah? Did he like anyone? But the question was... did they like him back?

It was too overwhelming, and he couldn't process any of this. He didn't want to like anyone anyway, why was he self-debating this, anyway? He didn't believe in high school romances. Not about that life. 

Dean kept watching the movie, trying to control his laughter. They had reached the part where everything was slo mo, and the acoustic version of Katy Perry's Firework was playing. He'd never seen this movie, so it was difficult for him not to laugh. 

"Cas, have you seen this movie before?" Dean asked, eyes still glued to the screen. He didn't get a response. "Cas?"

He glanced over at Cas, who had fallen asleep. Dean smiled down at him, unable to resist his thoughts. Mostly thinking about how sweet Cas looked when he slept. Earlier, he spoke of all his ex girlfriends. He was lying so much. He never had a girlfriend. He never even liked a girl in his life. But, while he knew he was probably gay, he hid the truth. He had to keep up appearances. If anyone found out the star quarterback of the Fergus Macleod Hellhounds was gay? That just couldn't happen. His coach and teammates were a bit homophobic, though he doubted they were aware of it. It's just, some of the things they said, while they were probably just innocent little teasing quips, it still worried him about coming out. So as far as anyone was concerned, Dean Winchester was straight up no homo.

He wanted to come out, he really did. But the fear just took control, and his thoughts always spiraled out of control. Cas just seemed so sweet and genuinely caring, and he had everything Dean could've wanted in a relationship. Of course, there was some stuff there that made him question his whole existence in the infinite universe. Like the fact that Cas was a guy. Just as an example. 

He felt so stupid. He knew he and Cas could never happen. Even if that whole ex girlfriends story wasn't true, the way he talked about Hannah... well, that was way too straight.

He watched Cas as he slept, watched the way he breathed so steadily, how peaceful he looked. He was entranced by his insurmountable beauty. How could one boy look so... angel?

He decided he should probably get some sleep. But he didn't want to go home, so he decided to sleep there. Right there, at the foot of the bed, with Cas resting beside him. 

He got the pillow from the other end of the bed and gently lifted Cas's head so he could tuck the pillow beneath it. Cas hummed with content, shifting slightly in his sleep. Dean grinned and retrieved the blanket from the floor that had once been at the foot of the bed, wrapping Cas up in it. He turned off the TV, the room suddenly plunged into darkness. He got comfortable, holding Cas so he was pressed up against his body, not caring about fighting his gay thoughts. Because he was here right now with this sweet boy with wild raven colored hair. 

"Good night, Cas my angel." 

He inhaled deeply, breathing in Cas's scent, and closed his eyes. It wasn't long before he managed to get some sleep.


	4. The Reason Doors Have Locks

The following morning, Gabe woke up and remembered that it was Sunday. He had to wake Cas up so he could go to this get-together he went to every week. He had to wake Cas up since he couldn't wake himself up. Really. Alarm clocks never worked either. 

He got out of bed and opened the door to Cas's room, and he found his little brother wrapped in a blanket, coddling the biggest jock in school right at the foot of his bed. They were both asleep, unaware he was standing there. Dean was resting on his back with Cas's head on his chest. Dean's arm was wrapped around Cas's shoulders and Cas had his arm draped across Dean's torso.

Gabe recalled his conversation with Cas the previous night. Was this the date?

While Cas might have said it wasn't a date, Gabe knew better. Of course, he wasn't expecting it to be a guy. He always had a feeling that Cas might've been... well, playing for the other team, but still. It was a rather unexpected turn of events he just walked into. 

He wasn't sure what to do. The two halves of his brain were in conflict. One side was like, "Just wake him up and ask him about Dean freaking Winchester being in his room with him with as much maturity as you can manage." But the other half was like, "Dude, put his hand in warm water!" And he had to admit; the latter was much more tempting.

But, he decided to try and maintain himself. Which roughly translates to not bursting into hysterical laughter. 

He tapped Cas on the shoulder three times. "Cas," He spoke softly. He didn't even stir. Gabe tapped him again, a tiny bit more roughly. "Cas," He spoke slightly louder this time. Cas shifted a little, gripping Dean's shirt. Gabe leaned in toward Cas's ear, tapping him three times once again, and yelled, "CAS!"

Cas jerked awake, Dean awakening with him. "Cas, what is it?" He muttered. They both laid eyes on a rather amused Gabriel and the answer was clear.

Gabe smirked down at them. "Mornin', boys."

"Um, Cas," Dean murmured. "Is this your-"

"Brother. Yeah. Gabriel. Gabe, this is-"

"Dean Winchester! I know! What, you think I don't watch our football games? I've seen him play."

"Oh," Dean nodded a bit awkwardly. "That's nice. Um... nothing happened here, okay man? We were just watching a movie, and we fell asleep. That's it."

"I don't remember being wrapped in a blanket." Cas muttered, causing Dean to blush. 

"Okay," Gabe interrupted. "Before anyone says anything else; Cas, today's Sunday. You gotta go to that thing."

"Oh! I completely forgot about that!"

"Wait, what thing?" Dean asked. 

"It's nothing, but I gotta go. Gabe, get out."

"Your wish is my command." He replied sarcastically, bowing as though Cas were a king. And with that, he decided to go back to bed. 

"Cas, what's the thing?" Dean asked. 

Cas scrambled to his feet. "Nothing. It's nothing. But I'm gonna be late, so." He started putting his shoes on, tying his laces haphazardly. 

"Doesn't seem like nothing."

"Well, it just... it doesn't concern you, okay? It's just a thing."

"How long will it take?"

"Usually about an hour, hour and a half give or take. Why?"

Dean shrugged. "Just curious."

Cas got his shoes tied and looked over at Dean. "Dean... did you... this is gonna sound stupid and pointless, but did you... wrap me in the blanket last night?"

Dean felt the heat rise up to his cheeks, his face reddening slightly. "Y-yeah," He answered sheepishly, looking at everything but Cas. "I... I did. I, um... I didn't want you to get cold."

A small smile lit up Cas's face. He wasn't sure what to say to that. Maybe Dean really did... no. It was nothing. Surely friends did that sort of thing with other friends. Friends. 

"Um... I've really gotta go."

"Cas, what time does this thing start?"

"Noon. Why?"

Dean looked at his watch. "It's 10:45."

Cas was a bit surprised. "Really?"

"That's what it says on my watch." 

"Huh. Gabe usually wakes me up at like 11:30 just to mess with me. I guess today I've got... extra time."

Dean nodded slightly. "Guess so."

Neither of them were sure what to do. This whole situation was awkward enough without both of them thinking they had feelings for the other, and neither of them even knew about it. Yeah. Awkward.

"So, how do you suggest we kill time?" Cas asked. 

Dean shrugged. "I dunno. We could always... talk."

Cas nodded along. "Yeah. What about?"

"Well... we could always follow up on that discussion on TV shows. I don't know many Doctor Who fans." He grinned. 

Cas chuckled. "Yeah. Me neither. So... who's your favorite Doctor?" He sat down next to Dean. 

"Well, it's always been a difficult decision. I mean, the Eleventh Doctor is pretty cool, I like him. But the Tenth Doctor, I mean, he was like my childhood hero. I was there for his very first line all the way to 'I don't wanna go.' His first and last moments, y'know? After a while, I sorta... took a break, I guess. Then... I got back into it. I really like the Eleventh Doctor, but... I dunno. It's just a difficult decision."

Cas smiled. "Wow. Just when I thought you couldn't get any better."

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. What about you?"

"I think my favorite is probably the Fourth Doctor. I mean, he's a classic! He's fun, and he's got that scarf, what's not to love?"

Dean nodded in agreement. "Yeah, he was a blast."

"Favorite companion?" 

"Ah, favorite companion. Definitely a toughie. I liked all of them, even Martha. I mean, c'mon, she was neat and everything, but I was still getting over the Rose feels, y'know?"

"Naturally." Cas nodded truthfully. 

"But... my favorite? Let me think. There was a lot of them. Rose, Martha, Donna, Amy, Rory, Clara. Too many to choose from. I'm leaning toward either Rose or Clara. What about you?"

"Probably Ace. Maybe Sarah Jane. Or Rose. Then there's Romana. The regenerated version, not the first. I'm kinda glad she regenerated." Cas rambled. 

"You're really digging the Classic Doctor Who, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah. I mean, at first I wasn't that hooked, since I started watching the new series first, but after a while, I became more and more... addicted."

Dean grinned. "It's so easy to get obsessed these days. I mean, Doctor Who, Sherlock, even Once Upon A Time."

"Such a good show."

"I know!" Dean agreed. "I mean, they kinda bled the plot twists dry, but still."

"Exactly! You gotta know where to draw the line with the plot twists."

"And that insanely messed up family tree-"

"Don't even get me started!" Cas chuckled.

"I kinda miss Graham." 

"Oh, dude, Graham. I nearly cried."

"I know! It was just so obvious that he and Emma were meant for each other!"

"Until Hook came along."

"Oh, god, Captain Swan. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up being related or something."

"Um, have you seen some of the relatives on this show? I'd be shocked if they weren't related." 

"And then there's Neil."

"Oh, Neil! He's just competition! But... I kinda like the idea of Swanfire."

"Yeah. Stupid love triangles."

"Better love story than Twilight."

"Every love story is a better love story than Twilight. Cabin In The Woods could make a better love story than Twilight. Which is a really good movie, actually." Cas grinned.

They both chuckled, happy to have one another to talk to. It was a rare thing, knowing someone that you could talk to for hours. A great, rare thing. 

"I'm glad I have someone to talk to." Dean said. 

"Me too." Cas agreed.

Dean looked at his watch. "11 am. On the dot. Still have about an hour before that... thing."

"Yep. The thing," Cas nodded awkwardly. "Wanna... watch some YouTube videos?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"Uh... Dan and Phil? Tyler Oakley? Connor Franta? Troye Sivan?"

Dean shrugged. "How about Connor? Haven't watched his videos in a while anyway."

Cas got his laptop from his desk and went to YouTube. He typed Connor Franta, and the first video he found was entitled Coming Out. He pressed play, and after the stupid ad, the video started. 

"I kid you not, as soon as the camera turned on, my heart immediately started beating really, really hard." Connor began. 

"I have a feeling I know what this is." Cas muttered.

"Hey, what's up you guys? So today... I wanna talk to you guys about something. So 2014 has been by far the biggest year for me. I've done a lot of things and gone a lot of places, and you guys know all about that, but... you don't know the biggest thing that's happened to me this year."

"I can take a guess." Cas mumbled. 

"So I'm sitting here in front of you with no script, no plan, no fancy editing... and I'm just gonna be really honest. 2014 is truly the year that I have accepted who I am and become happy with that person. So today, I wanna talk to you guys about that and be open and honest and tell you that... I'm gay."

"Dude, I didn't know Connor Franta was gay." Dean muttered. 

"This may come as a shock to a lot of you and it may be confusing, so... I'm gonna backtrack a little bit. Growing up, I always knew I was little bit different than everyone else. I always had this feeling I... wasn't the same. But it wasn't until I was twelve years old until I really... had pinpointed what that was. For some reason, that seventh grade year, I had this thought in the back of my head, 'What if I'm gay?' And I immediately was so... terrified."

"Wouldn't anyone be?" Cas tried to make a joke. 

"I'm from a small town in the Midwest, that's not a normal thing there. I didn't even know what that word meant, I'd only met a couple gay people my entire life. It was terrifying to me to have to think that I was something I knew nothing about. So I immediately just push it away, try to not think about it. But, as anyone who's gone through this knows, you can't not think about it."

"Ain't that the truth?" Dean commented. 

Cas glanced over at him. "What?"

Dean looked at him as well. "What?"

"I was up all night for, I can't even tell you how many nights, just thinking. Like, looking at the ceiling, just thinking about this. And I was so scared of it, that I never told anybody. So, fast forward into high school, I tried to avoid it by dating girls. All I wanted to do was be like everyone else. I would date girls, I would kiss girls, but I would feel... nothing."

They could both relate to Connor. They were both in this situation. Minus the girls of course. They could just make that up. 

Cas was especially moved by the video. All he wanted to do was be like everyone else. He didn't want to stand out in the crowd, he'd rather blend in. Why couldn't he just be normal?

Connor went on to say how you shouldn't hide who you really are, and how you should be open and honest about your sexuality. He started talking about how he finally admitted it to himself, and he eventually told his friend after keeping him up until five o'clock in the morning, and more friends, and his parents and siblings, and one by one, he started checking these people off his list. And now, he decided to come out to the internet.

"In just one year, I've honestly felt like I am so happy with who I am. And I'm making this video because I was sick of having to think constantly, about what I was doing, what I was saying, what I was wearing, just... I don't wanna have to think about everything I do."

Cas knew he had to tell someone. But... who could he tell? It was impossible. Absolutely impossible.

Then again... he did have that thing. 

Soon, the video ended, and it was just slightly awkward. They both sat there awhile, until Cas finally spoke up. 

"How bout Marcus Butler? Never watched him before."

"Yeah. Yeah, Marcus Butler. Let's do it."

First, they watched him collab with Tyler Oakley. They were singing with helium balloons, and there were tons of laughs with that. Then they watched him look through his childhood art, including a strange book about a witch and what might have been a magician. Then they watched him look through his baby book, which was full of his experiences as a baby and a child.

They were watching videos until 11:35. Cas decided he should probably be on his way to... the thing. 

"Dean, I should go. I don't want to be late."

Dean sighed. "Do you have to go to that thing?"

Cas got up and put on his red jacket. "I do if I don't wanna be late. I've been late too many times the last few weeks."

"Can I go with you?"

Cas was quick to answer that one. "No! Er... no. Just... it's just a private little get together. Nothing of importance to you, I'm sure."

"How do you know that?"

Cas shrugged. "Just a hunch."

"At least let me drive you there."

He sighed. "Dean-"

"I insist. Let me give you a lift."

He sighed again, knowing that Dean would never give up. Cas thought his persistence was kinda cute. "Fine. I'm not that good a driver anyway."

Cas walked out of his room, Dean following suit. They walked down the hallway, and when Cas reached the living room, he realized Jo was awake. 

"Jo!" He yelped, shoving Dean backward. He didn't want her to know that Dean was here. 

She looked up at him from the couch, where she seemed to be watching a movie. "Morning, Cas. Going somewhere?"

"I was, actually. It's... it's Sunday. Remember?"

"Oh. I forgot about that. So you're going to-"

"Yeah!" He cut her off. "Yep. That's where I'm going!" He chuckled nervously. 

Jo narrowed her gaze suspiciously. "Are you okay? You're acting weird."

Cas laughed uncomfortably. "What? I'm fine! Just fine! I just... I gotta go, y'know?"

Jo nodded along. "Alright. I'm gonna make a quick call to Charlie. I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah. Yep. Later."

Jo left the room so she could make a call to her girlfriend, and Cas tried to rush Dean out the door. He grabbed him by the shoulder and ushered him outside, quickly closing the door behind him. 

"Whew!" Cas chuckled uneasily. "That was close!"

"Yep. We taking your car or mine?"

Cas shrugged. "Whichever you prefer."

"Alright. We can take mine, I guess." 

They got into Dean's car, and they began their drive. Cas gave Dean directions to... the thing, and they got there in about twenty minutes. Right on time. 

It was a small building, very quaint. Dean pulled into a parking space which was close to the front door. 

"Should be starting in about five minutes." Cas thought out loud.

"Can I please go in with you?" Dean begged. 

"No. I'm sorry, but... this is kinda... personal for me."

Dean nodded in understanding, but still seemed hurt. "Right. Whatever."

"Just please wait out here for me, okay?"

Dean sighed. "Always."

Cas got out of the car, walking into the building. There everyone was. About five other people, sitting in chairs set up in a circle, and there was one empty seat left next to Ash on the far left.

Chuck saw him and smiled, waving him over. "Come on in, Cas! Right on time!" Chuck was the one who ran the little get together. 

Cas sat down next to Ash, who was a bit... twitchy. As always. Then there was Pamela, Garth, and Cole. They were all here for numerous reasons. Ash was here because of his drinking problem. Three months sober, and it was driving him nuts. Pamela was here because she was kind of a sex addict. She couldn't get enough of it, so she sought out help, after much encouragement from friends, family, and a domestic court judge. Garth because... well, he had a lot of issues. Mostly social anxiety. He thought that he could better himself here. Cole because of his serious anger issues. He had a lot of rage that he couldn't deal with properly. And Cas... because he was clinically depressed.

He'd never been the happiest person. Sure, he could share a few laughs with his friends, but... inside, he was... a darkened soul. Darkened by his thoughts, darkened by the actions of others, darkened by all he's experienced. Especially when he started... questioning himself. 

So he began therapy with Chuck Shurley. He thought it would help. 

"Hello again, everyone," Chuck began with a warm smile. "So, how's everyone's week been?"

Pamela smirked. "I had sex last night." 

Chuck sighed. "With who, Pamela?"

She shrugged. "Hell if I know. I like to call him Mr. Big-"

"Okay!" Chuck interrupted. "Anyone else? Please?" 

Cole began to speak. "Um... instead of punching someone's face, like I wanted to, I... I punched... a - a wall. But... I pictured the guy's face on the wall. The guy's stupid face!"

Chuck nodded. "Uh huh. That's... interesting. Good way of venting your anger, Cole. Very... good."

"Hell yeah, I vented my anger!" Cole exclaimed. 

Cas decided to speak. "Um... there's something that's been on my mind for a long time, and I think I should... be open about it now."

"Of course, Cas."

Cas swallowed his anxiety, and finally started to talk about it. "For the longest time, I've thought... I was very different. And... about a year and a half ago, I discovered what that was," He took a breath, gathering up his courage. "I'm gay."

There. Out in the open. Loud and clear. 

Chuck nodded. "Okay. Castiel, homosexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many young men in your situation, you're not the only one going through this."

"Sometimes it feels that way. Especially now that... I've met someone."

"A - a boy, I presume?"

"Yeah. I... at first, I thought maybe... we connected. But now... I'm starting to feel like... it was just me. And I just wanted to bring this up, because, as a good person once said, 'I don't wanna have to think about everything I do'."

He didn't want to think about... Hannah. That was far too complex. He could save that story for another day. 

Ash raised his hand a little bit. "Um... I - I have... something to-" He quickly looked over his right shoulder, then looked back at Chuck. "To say. Um... last night... I - I found a... a liquor store. And... this time... I didn't drink it." 

"Very good, Ash," Chuck praised. He knew how difficult it was for Ash these days, as did everyone else. "Good for you. I'm sure it was very tempting to drink that alcohol, but you didn't." 

Ash nodded quickly. "Uh huh. Right. Tempting. Chuck, why have I been sober for twelve years?"

"Um, Ash, it's been three months." 

Ash narrowed his gaze at him. "You sure?"

"Yeah. Very sure, Ash. Three months."

"It felt like twelve years." He whispered more in direction to himself rather than Chuck.

Chuck looked to Garth. "Garth? Anything you'd like to add?"

Garth had an expression like a lost puppy. He quickly shook his head, sinking in his seat a little bit. His anxiety most likely stemmed from Bessie, his late wife. She died of an inoperable brain tumor, and ever since then, Garth couldn't cope with the idea of human contact. Nobody was sure why; he wouldn't speak a word to anyone. He hasn't said a thing since she passed.

While everyone else started talking over one another, Cas just started thinking. About himself. About Dean. About Hannah. About everything. Before he could confirm his sexuality, he decided he should talk to Hannah first, see if he really was infatuated. They had one class together; chemistry. A bit ironic when you think about it.

After about an hour and a half or so, everyone was dismissed. Cas was eager to leave so he could spend more time with Dean. Maybe spending more time with this boy would help him out of the bi territory, and into a more "specific" category. 

He left the building and went to Dean's car, where Dean had dozed off waiting for him. Cas got in the passenger seat, the sound of the door closing awakening Dean from his slumber. 

He jerked awake and mumbled, "Kiss me." Most likely having to do with a dream he was having. 

Cas scrunched his eyebrows together. "What?"

Dean looked over at him. "What?" 

Cas just shrugged it off, it probably wasn't important anyway. "Well, the thing's over. Let's go." 

Dean grinned. "I wanna show you something."

"What is it?"

Dean started the car. "Let me take you there." 

They drove for a while, until they finally arrived at some old car repair place. There were tons of rusty old cars sitting around, ancient and useless. Dean parked his car and eagerly got out, walking into the small garage where cars must've gotten fixed up at. 

"Dean, where are we?" Cas called, following him inside. 

There was a man inside the garage, fixing up an old black Chevy. He saw Dean and grinned. 

"Dean," He had a southern drawl. "I've been wonderin' where you've been, ya idjit." 

"Hey, Bobby. So, is she almost ready?"

"Almost. Just a couple of bits and pieces need fixin' up, then she's ready to go."

"Awesome. Bobby, this is Cas," He gestured to Cas. "Cas, meet Bobby."

"Nice to meet you." Cas greeted.

"Nice to meet you too," Bobby replied. "You know anything about cars?"

"Um... how to drive them... to a certain degree."

"Got your license yet?"

"Uh, almost. Still practicing. Just have my learner's permit. I usually practice driving with my friend, Jo."

"Okay, Cas," Dean began. "Now that you've met Bobby, I'd like you to meet my future car. 1967 Chevrolet Impala. She's a beauty, ain't she?" Dean practically glowed with pride as he gazed upon his vehicle. 

"She is, indeed." Cas concurred.

"I'm just itching to take her out for a test drive, but Bobby here won't let me."

"I'm still fixing her brakes, boy," Bobby jumped in. "So unless you wanna end up in the paper in the obituaries section-"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. I just can't wait."

"Well, you're gonna have to. Need to fix the brakes, switch out the battery, replace the spark plug, and some of these wires are just shot to hell."

"But, y'know, other than that?" Dean commented sarcastically.

Cas smiled a little at Dean's sarcastic bantering. He was fun to be around, that much was certain. 

"Can we at least sit in the car?" Dean asked. "I'm sure those seats need to be tested."

"Fine. You can sit in the car." 

"Shotgun!" Cas called almost instinctively, getting in the passenger seat. 

Dean got in the driver seat, a smile growing on his face. "Wow. Beautiful. This interior... just... wow."

"I know. It feels... great."

"Couldn't you just sit in this car forever?"

"It does feel nice."

"I hope Bobby can fix her up soon. I wanna take her out for a spin." 

"I'm sure he'll be done before you know it."

"Hopefully by the end of the day. I'd love to drive this baby to school tomorrow."

Cas nodded, staring at Dean, who had a smile on his face. "Yeah. That'd be nice." Dean seemed to make him forget he was depressed. He was so much happier around the boy. He wanted to spend every second of every day loyally by his side. He... kinda loved him.


	5. Embracing The Rainbow

It wasn't long before they decided to go back to Cas's house. The entire time, Cas was questioning his decisions in life. It couldn't have been love. A simple crush, maybe. But love? He didn't believe in love before you turn eighteen. It couldn't have been true.

But, how else could he explain his constant thoughts of Dean's everything?

No. He had to stop before everything spiraled out of control. Then again, how can anything get more out of control?

They pulled into Cas's driveway, but before Dean could get out, Cas stopped him. 

"Dean. Jo is still here."

"Okay. Why is it such a big deal whether or not she knows I'm here?"

Cas sighed. "Because..." He decided to be brutally honest. Maybe he wouldn't think it was weird. "She thinks I'm gay for you."

Dean chuckled a little. "Oh. Wow. You're... not, are you?" 

And a brutal lie. "Of course not! That's... just... ridiculous, is what it is. In-sane!" He was overcompensating; he needed to shut up. "I mean, you're not gay for me, right?" 

"Course not. I think you're great and all, but I don't play for that team, y'know?"

Cas nodded. "Right. Totally. I - I know that. So am I." He chuckled uncomfortably. 

Dean shrugged. "Why don't we just... tell her that?"

"Trust me, Jo is pretty stubborn. When she believes something, she won't stop till she proves it. Trust me, I've known her for a while."

There was a pause until Dean spoke up. "Then let her prove it." He muttered. 

Cas's heart skipped a couple beats. "Wha - what now?" He practically squeaked. 

"Oh, you heard me." And all of a sudden, Dean attacked him with his lips, catching Cas by surprise. 

Cas kissed him back, his hands in the boy's dirty blonde hair. He nibbled at his lips, embracing their taste. 

Dean broke the kiss for a brief moment. "Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"You gotta wake up now."

Cas was confused. "What?" He spoke around his lips. 

"Cas? C'mon, wake up, Cas. Cas!"

And he jerked awake, still in the passenger seat of Dean's car. It was merely a dream. 

"Oh." He muttered, looking around the car.

Dean grinned. "Having a nice dream, I assume?"

"Oh, you have no idea."

"Alright, well, I think I'm gonna take off."

Cas sighed. "C'mon. Who am I s'posed to talk Doctor Who with?" 

Dean chuckled. "You have my number. We can still talk over the phone."

"It's not the same."

"Believe it or not, I have my own house to live in. And a little brother to take care of."

"Isn't that what parents are for?" Cas grinned. 

Dean sighed. "My mom's been dead for as long as I can remember, and my dad died in his sleep two years ago." 

The smile vanished from Cas's face, his expression becoming one of pity. "Sorry. I... I didn't know."

"It's fine. I mean, the kid can take care of himself for the most part, but... I still gotta look out for him, y'know?"

"Gabriel's nothing like that. Trust me." 

"So your parents...?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

Cas shook his head slightly. "It's fine." 

"If you ever... wanna talk about it...-"

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

"I really should go. Sam's probably wondering where I am." 

"Yeah. Okay."

"I'll see you around then." 

"Yeah," He got out of the car. "I'll see you around." And he closed the door, letting Dean pull out of the driveway. He didn't want him to go, but he also needed to do something in private.

He went inside, passing Jo on the way to his bedroom. "Hey, Cas. How'd it go?"

"Great. Bye." And he went to his room, shutting the door behind him. 

He got on his laptop and watched every single coming out video he could find, and rewatched them at least a hundred times. Coming out in a therapy session is one thing, but how would he come out to the people close to him? And how could he tell Dean how he felt without ruining their already profound bond? His head was spinning with all these questions in his mind.

He then Googled "how do I tell another boy I like him?" He hoped to find answers even if it meant using wikiHow.

He mostly found results involving step by step instructions, and different methods on... the big reveal. 

Start off with a conversation piece; that should be easy. "Hey, Dean. You going to the New Year's Eve party? If you're not going with anyone, I'm totally head over heels for you, so let's go together. How's 7 o'clock sound?" Or perhaps that was a bit straightforward.

Okay, how about; "Hey, Dean. So, you going to the New Year's Eve party at Lisa's? If you don't have a date, maybe we could go together... since I can't stop thinking about you ever since we almost kissed. Meet me at 7?"

God, he was such an idiot. Of course Dean wouldn't go out with him. Certainly not to an event as prestigious as Lisa Braedon's annual New Year's Eve party. From her freshman year till now, she always hosted the New Year's Eve party without fail. Anyone who was anyone would attend, and Cas was... well, no one. 

But either way, Dean Winchester would know how Cas felt. It had to happen. He felt something at that convention, and he just prayed Dean felt it too.

Maybe it didn't have to involve Lisa's party. It was almost Christmas break, although it was difficult to tell. This town wasn't exactly... Christmassy. It hardly ever snowed (though it was cold enough for three blizzards), there was a depressing lack of Christmas decorations in stock, and everyone seemed to be... well, a damn Grinch. He knew a couple of jolly souls, but not enough to brighten any spirits. 

And this year was no different. Bah humbug.

He just had to turn things around, but... how? Almost everyone was like Mr. Heckles from Friends, minus the broomstick. Of course, he wouldn't put it past any of them to pound on the ceiling to get someone to shut up.

How could one teenage boy invoke the spirit of Christmas into everyone in his tiny little town? Quite the challenge indeed. 

Maybe he could get Dean to help. Surely Dean was a Christmassy guy. And he was sure that Jo and Charlie would help. But... help with what exactly? How could they bring Christmas back to the town of Devil's Kettle, USA?

Yeah. Not only would it bring Christmas back to this sad little town, but it would also bring him and Dean closer. And he had to get closer to Dean. Maybe they could start with decorating the town. Yeah, that would be a good start.

He closed his laptop and went out to the living room where Jo still was. "Jo, we're bringing Christmas back to Devil's Kettle."

She looked up at him confusedly. "What?"

"I know it'll be a long shot, but I think we should at least try. We'll decorate the town. We can use, uh, wreaths and uh... that mistletoe stuff, and... oh! Garland! What is garland? It's a Christmas thing, right?"

Jo got up from the couch. "Woah, Cas, buddy, slow down. You know as well as I do that Christmas isn't exactly a popular thing here."

"I know. I wanna bring it back."

Jo scoffed. "You know how many Scrooges there are in Devil's Kettle? That's just crazy talk." 

"What if it isn't? C'mon, wouldn't you love to... sing carols by the open fire? Or... decorate a big ole tree? Or... figure out what the hell garland is, 'cause... I have no idea." 

"Since when do you care about Christmas, anyway?" 

He shrugged a little. "I dunno. It just sorta... happened." 

"Right. Okay. How do you suggest we bring forth the Christmas spirit?"

"Well, decorations might be a good start. We'll need a lot of help. You think Charlie would be interested?"

"Probably. Why don't you give Dean a call? I bet he'd love to help out." 

Cas nodded a bit uneasily. "Right. I - I was just thinking of doing that. Ask Charlie if she knows anyone else who'd be interested, okay?" 

"Okay, gotcha." 

Cas got his cell out of his pocket and dialed Dean's number, heading back to his room. After a ring or two, Dean answered. 

"Hey."

"Hey, Dean. So, I've just thought of something completely crazy."

"I'm listening."

"I'm gonna bring Christmas back to Devil's Kettle. You in?"

"Christmas? You mean full on chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose deal?" 

"That's right."

"You're right. That is crazy." 

Cas sighed. "I just don't see why Christmas is such a big no no. What's so bad about a little Yuletide in this town?"

"I dunno, Cas. It's just one of those things no one bothers to question."

"Well y'know what? I'm bothering. So what the hell?"

"You really think you can bring Christmas back?"

"Not a doubt in my mind. We have one week until Christmas, so we've got a lot of ground to cover. You know anyone who might be game?" 

"I'll ask around."

"Good. Now, just one question."

"Shoot."

He paused, just a little bit embarrassed. "What's garland?"

After their conversation was over, Dean hung up and looked over at Charlie. "You got the same call, didn't you?"

"Yep. Jo wanted me to ask if anyone would be interested in... Christmas shopping."

They were at her house, and Dean was just telling Charlie about what he was feeling toward Cas. He didn't want to admit it, but he needed to talk to somebody about it. 

"This... doesn't count as a date, right?" Dean asked. 

"It could count as a lot of things. But, boy, do I hope it's a freaking date!" She squealed with delight. She soon centered herself and spoke a bit more calmly. "Sorry. Fangirl moment there."

"I just don't get it," He began to pace the room. "I've met tons of girls who are awesome, and I feel like I should like them the way I like Cas. And I've met tons of guys who I think are cool, but... none of them are like Cas. Why Cas, is basically what I'm saying." 

"He sounds like your one true love."

"Okay, I wanted Charlie's opinion, not Cinderella."

"Oh, come on, is true love that insane?" 

"Um, yes." 

"Dean, don't you think that maybe Cas just might be... your lobster?"

Dean stopped pacing and looked at her. "My what?" 

"Lobsters mate for life, Dean. A male lobster meets a female lobster, and they're together forever. Cas might be your lobster!"

"That's not how it works, Charlie. We aren't lobsters. I mean... when a guy kisses a girl, she doesn't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after, okay? That's life."

"That doesn't have to be you, Dean. You and Cas can be happy together. If you just tell him."

He chuckled uncomfortably. "Hell no."

"Dean-"

"No, Charlie! Not happening! He's... he's straight, okay? You should've heard the way he was talking about Hannah." 

"Screw Hannah! You and Cas are each other's lobsters!" 

"Enough with the lobster analogy. I'm not a lobster, he's not a lobster, no lobsters!"

"Are you sure? Cause you seem to be a pretty pissed off lobster." 

"I... I'm not pissed off, I'm just... upset. Okay? I just... I wanna be with Cas. But I guess that won't be happening."

"Why not? Are you really that scared of rejection?"

"I'm that scared of losing him. If we can't be together, that's fine. But I want to at least be friends. Don't I deserve that much? To have a friend like Cas?"

Charlie sighed. "You know how scared I was when I liked Jo? We'd been friends since kindergarten, and all of a sudden I like her? You know how scary that was for me? But I told her how I felt anyway. Because I was brave enough to take that leap of faith. And look where we are now. I mean, we've already picked out our prom dresses." She smiled. 

"I wanna take a leap of faith. I wanna take Cas to prom. I wanna dance with him to an REO Speedwagon song. I wanna kiss him under the light of a disco ball. As girly as it is." 

"No, it's not girly! Well, it is kinda. But still! This is good!"

"How is this good?"

"This means you love him!" 

"Woah, Charlie. Slow down. I ain't talking about love just yet. My head is still spinning from the whole 'kinda like him' deal. Don't even say the 'l' word, alright?" 

"Fine. You... have strong feelings for him that make you want to buy him flowers and boxes of chocolates and... hold him close to you, day and night, giving him little kisses all over his face, and... give him the key to your apartment so he can visit you anytime he wants... and ask him to move in with you when things start to get serious, and you end up helping him move boxes into your little apartment... and you just end up thinking about your future... together. Right?"

Dean thought about it for a moment before answering. "Maybe." 

Charlie smiled with delight. "Can I say the 'l' word now?" 

Dean shook his head. "N - no. Charlie, I... I gotta go." And with that, he briskly walked out the front door, getting in his car and driving off. 

He couldn't think about this too much. It would just drive him crazy. He just needed to get back to his apartment. He needed to clear his head before it just exploded. That could happen.

But, of course, he started thinking about it too much. What if it was the 'l' word? What would he do? He obviously wanted everything Charlie was talking about, but did that mean it was more than just a simple crush? He didn't want it to be... the 'l' word.

He clearly got a bit too lost in his thoughts, because the next thing he knew, there was a car right in front of him at an intersection. He tried to stop his car, and ended up crashing right into a tree on the side of the road, rendering him unconscious.


	6. A Good Scare

Cas had gotten a call from Dean, who was in the hospital. He and Jo drove down as quick as possible to make sure he was okay. They approached the front desk and spoke with the receptionist. 

"We're here to see Dean Winchester. He - he was in a car accident." Cas tried to speak calmly. 

"Dean Winchester," She typed something into her ancient, bulky computer. "Oh, yes. Room 21A," She pointed down a hall to their right. "Straight down this hall, it will be on your left."

They walked briskly down the hallway, searching for his room. They soon found it, 21A, and opened the door. Dean was in the hospital bed, seemingly unharmed by the wreck. 

He looked up at them. "Hey, guys."

"Hey, Dean," Cas replied. "What happened?"

He sighed. "I dunno. I just... wasn't paying enough attention." 

"I gave Charlie a call," Jo said. "She'll be here soon."

Dean nodded. "Good."

"No serious injuries, right?" Cas asked. 

"Well, I got a couple of cuts from broken glass. Window got shattered, I just needed a stitch or two."

"Well, that's not too bad. Thank god for that."

"Yeah. I guess I really dodged a bullet. At least I didn't crash into that car, so I know they're okay."

"You... you kinda scared me with that phone call y'know. I was kinda freaking out in the car on the way here."

Jo scoffed. "Kinda?" 

"Shut up." He half smirked.

"Sorry about that. Didn't mean to worry you."

"It's fine. I have faith in our medical experts."

Dean chuckled. "Me too."

The door suddenly opened, and in walked Charlie, a young boy with her. "I went ahead and picked up Sam. Hope you don't mind."

"Charlie, you didn't have to do that."

"Dean," Sam spoke up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Sammy." 

Sam looked up at Cas. "Who are you?"

"I'm Castiel. You can call me Cas. You're Sam, then?"

"Yeah. Are you a friend of Dean's?" 

"Yeah. And Dean is gonna be just fine. Right, Dean?" He looked over at Dean. 

"Yeah. It's nothing, Sammy." 

"It's Sam, jeez!"

A nurse walked in to check on Dean. "Dean. How are you feeling?"

"Everyone keeps asking me that! I'm fine, Tessa! It's not like I drove off a freaking cliff!" 

"Nevertheless, your health is very important." 

"I know. But it was just a tiny little... tree collision. It was nothing. I don't even think I need these stitches." 

"Hey, we're the experts here. Those were some pretty serious cuts."

"Yeah, yeah. So how's my car?"

"Not good. All I know is that it's currently under repair, and it might take a while."

Dean sighed. "Awesome."

"At least you have that Impala to look forward to." Cas attempted to lighten his mood. 

"Yeah, I guess."

It wasn't too long before Dean was free to go. He was given some pain medication in case anything started to act up. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Cas asked as they left the hospital. 

"I'm fine, Cas. Really. I'm just gonna go home and rest or something." 

"Do you - do you need anything?"

"I said I'm fine," Dean chuckled. "No need to get so antsy."

"I'm not antsy. I'm... un-antsy."

"Let me give you and Sam a ride home." Charlie offered. 

"Alright," Dean complied. "With my car in the shop, I could use a lift."

"Seriously though," Cas continued. "Are you one hundred percent certain you're absolutely fine?" 

Dean laughed at his concern. "Cas, I'm not dying, okay? I'll be fine. No need to worry." 

Cas nodded. "O-okay. If you say so."

On the way back to his house, Charlie decided to ask. "So. How are you really?" 

"My brain is pounding on a drum in my skull." 

"I believe that's what pain meds are for." 

"I don't need no damn pain meds!" Dean denied. 

"Right. If you insist," Charlie smirked. "Y'know, Cas seemed to be pretty concerned about you."

"Yeah. He did."

"I mean, did you see the look on his face?" 

"Charlie, I think I know where you're going with this, and I'd like you to stop."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked from the backseat. "What's going on?"

"Nothin', Sammy." Dean replied. 

Sam scoffed. "Liar."

"So," Charlie smiled whimsically. "How are you liking that... lobster?"

"Oh my god, Charlie, enough with the lobster!"

"Seriously though, that's a nice... lobster you've got your eye on. You gonna... tell it how you feel?" 

"No, Charlie! Nothing's changed! I'm not telling anyone or anything how I feel, okay? Just let it go!" 

There was a moment of silence until Sam spoke. "God, I hate it when you talk in code."

~

"It's nothing, Jo! I'm just... worried for him, that's all!" Cas exclaimed. 

"You seemed to be pretty damn worried is all I'm saying."

"He's my friend, I have every right to be worried."

"Well you seemed to be super worried."

"I was not super worried. I was... the appropriate amount of worried." 

Jo chuckled and shook her head. "You really are the wackiest." 

"I... I'm not wacky."

"Oh, you're wacky with a capital 'W'." 

"I am so not wacky!" 

"Wackier than Willy Wonka."

"So not!" 

"Wacky."

"Yeah right."

There was a slight pause before Cas began to speak again. "You're wackier than I am."

Jo scoffed, almost a laugh. "Nuh-uh!" 

"Yes-huh!" 

"You're crazy, Cas! You are crazy and wacky!" 

"Bitch, please."

"No, you are! You're the wacky one! Not me!" 

"Oh, just... shut up and drive."

There was another slight pause. "This is the lamest argument ever." 

"I second that."

"Alright, so, we going to your place?"

"Not exactly. If we're gonna bring Christmas back to town, we're gonna need supplies. From out of town." 

"Supplies? You mean decorations and stuff?" 

"Precisely."

"Where do we go to for that?"

"Probably someplace that isn't Devil's Kettle."

"But not too far, right?" 

"Don't worry. We won't be backpacking across the country and back or something. Where's the nearest town from here?"

"A couple hours, give or take." 

"Well, then let's go."

Jo's cell phone started ringing, and she got it from her pocket so she could answer it. "Hello?" She asked. 

It wasn't clear who was on the other end. "Oh, hey!" There was a pause as the other person talked. "Yeah, he's right here.... Well, we're in the car, so it'll be difficult to-" She was cut off by something the caller said. "Oh my god, what? Are you serious?" She practically shrieked. 

Cas could faintly hear the caller try to get Jo to keep calm. There was obviously something they didn't want him to know. 

"Okay, okay. I'll keep your little secret. But you do realize how big this is, right?" 

"How - how big what is?" Cas asked. 

"I just can't believe it! I mean... oh my god!" She kept laughing with excitement. 

"Can't believe what?" Cas continued. 

"You - you're lying, aren't you?" A slight pause. "Holy shit, you aren't?! Oh my - holy shit!" 

"What are you hiding from me, Jo?" Cas asked.

"But we're not telling him?" She sounded slightly disappointed. "Why not? I mean, I bet he-" She stopped herself, glancing over at Cas briefly before looking away. "I bet he likes lobster too." She whispered. 

"Oh I love lobster. It's great. Now tell me!" Cas pleaded. 

"Well we're going out of town. For the Christmas thing, remember? Oh, jeez, you really wanna call it that?"

"Call it what?"

Jo covered her phone's microphone with her hand and whispered to Cas, "Charlie wants to call our Christmas thing Mission: Figgy Pudding."

Cas scoffed. "Please. Like that can top Operation Fruitcake." 

"So, Charlie, do you happen to know any place that has an abundance of Christmas decorations in stock?"

"Sorry, lover," Charlie answered from her car. "I don't." 

Dean was so unbelievably frustrated with Charlie at the moment. He couldn't believe her. 

"Okay. Love you too. Bye." And she hung up. 

"I can't believe you just told Jo."

"Well, better start believing it, kitten. 'Cause I just did." 

Dean glanced in the backseat through the rear view mirror where Sam was still asleep after he nodded off. "I told you, Charlie. I don't want people to know about this."

"Hey, Jo is not some Gossiping Gabby. Your secret is as safe with her as it is with me, okay? Besides, she's like an inside man."

"An inside man?"

"Yeah. She's real tight with Cas. She can find out just how Cas feels about you, Dean-o."

"It's a nice gesture and all, but it's pretty safe to assume that Cas doesn't feel the same way."

"Well we can't know unless we can prove it." 

"You should've heard the way he was talking about Hannah! Now that was as straight as... something very straight."

"Aw, please. Enough time around you will bend the straight right out of him." 

"Gee, Charlie. That's... really weird, y'know that?" 

She shrugged. "That's my specialty."

"You really think he... feels the same way?"

"Of course I do. He's gotta be gay."

"Charlie, you think everyone's gay." 

"Well, yeah. We're all a little gay. On the inside." 

"I hope to god that's true. At least that would mean I have a fighting chance. I - I'm driving myself crazy here, Charlie."

And he was being driven so crazy, he might just do something crazy. A stupid, crazy phone call perhaps. To someone he knew had feelings for him. And while he knew he didn't feel the same way, he was willing to do anything to get Cas out of his head. 

Even if that meant going out with someone he felt nothing for.


End file.
